How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
