I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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