thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
