he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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