Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
