My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
