..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
