Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i think i have two assholes
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
