every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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