stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
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Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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