it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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