i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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