TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im holly from the hills drunk
i used baking grease as lip gloss
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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