Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
