Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
