uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
