ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
