I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
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