just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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