I think im going to throw up on grandma
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
please come you make the beer taste better
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
