I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
