OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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