it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Sacagawea was the original milf.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
