I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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