Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm at about main and main street
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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