I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
