if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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