Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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