And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
