you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
