Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
