Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize