"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
