you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
