its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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