make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
