forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize