just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones