so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
