when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.