actually, I'm a sock model
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
