wake up i wanna do it froggy style
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.