I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
