Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting

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  (401): I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting http://tfl.nu/c988
  Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (845)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook

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  (312): spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook http://tfl.nu/0qwr
  Replies (26) Good night (727) Bad night (2881)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  did i?

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  (732): you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?" (1-732): did i? http://tfl.nu/syum
  Replies (33) Good night (7733) Bad night (827)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.

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  (317): Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am. http://tfl.nu/ygwv
  Replies (11) Good night (951) Bad night (5408)
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  (310): View more from California

  Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho

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  (310): Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho http://tfl.nu/chvf
  Replies (56) Good night (2167) Bad night (14992)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.

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  (618): apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer. http://tfl.nu/ok9n
  Replies (16) Good night (4620) Bad night (2013)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it

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  (973): So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it http://tfl.nu/ct20
  Replies (29) Good night (5315) Bad night (1699)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

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  (610): so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried. http://tfl.nu/cyhc
  Replies (12) Good night (967) Bad night (5020)
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  (845): View more from New York

  if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party

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  (845): if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party http://tfl.nu/vtss
  Replies (8) Good night (3894) Bad night (678)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling

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  (202): he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling http://tfl.nu/aha0
  Replies (12) Good night (1566) Bad night (614)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.

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  (860): Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves. http://tfl.nu/jaio
  Replies (1) Good night (553) Bad night (328)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.

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  (914): I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot. http://tfl.nu/25dg
  Replies (9) Good night (1038) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?

  (813): View more from Florida

  Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  Stop reading WebMD high.

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  (813): Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around? (813): Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid? (1-813): Stop reading WebMD high. http://tfl.nu/y2j5
  Replies (6) Good night (1115) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis

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  (952): Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis http://tfl.nu/o9uq
  Replies (1) Good night (295) Bad night (160)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche

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  (917): My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche http://tfl.nu/stu6
  Replies (3) Good night (435) Bad night (201)

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