So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
