Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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