I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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