in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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