I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
