I think i peed on brittanys purse
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
