at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
