he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
