yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
