i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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