didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
