so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
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I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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