new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
