First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
