"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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