Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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