you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
one might say we're banned from that church
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
