you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
