I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
