i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
