Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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