I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
