so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
