bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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