Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
