Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
whose parrot is this?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life