dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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