i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
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woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
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I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?