you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.