Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(216): View more from Ohio

I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose

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(406): View more from Montana

just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution

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(216): View more from Ohio

I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair

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(201): View more from New Jersey

No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?

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