Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
