Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
