The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize