Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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