alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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