He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
