"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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