Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
